I read a LinkedIn post by Danielle Russo and one quote struck me deeply:
“They’re not difficult.
They’re communicating.
And we are not listening.”
The more I sat with that quote, the more I realised how often we misunderstand behaviour, especially when it comes to dementia and cognitive decline.
Too often, people are labelled as “difficult” simply because their communication no longer fits what we are comfortable with or expect. However, confusion, repetition, agitation, withdrawal, or even resistance are often not acts of defiance at all. Instead, they can be expressions of fear, anxiety, overstimulation, frustration, or exhaustion.
In dementia care particularly, communication does not disappear. Rather, it changes. Unfortunately, many people instinctively respond by correcting, rushing, explaining, or trying to pull someone back into our version of reality instead of trying to understand theirs.
That is what made this quote so powerful to me.
It is a reminder that behaviour is often communication in a form we have stopped recognising. Furthermore, it challenges us to listen differently, with more patience, empathy, and humanity.
And honestly, this extends far beyond dementia care.
It applies to ageing parents, overwhelmed caregivers, people living with invisible struggles, and really anyone whose pain or confusion is easier to judge than to truly understand.
Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can do is pause long enough to ask:
“What are they trying to communicate that words can no longer fully express?”
Because being heard is not only about conversation.
It is also about dignity.