For 15 years, I lived in a cycle I couldn’t escape: chronic insomnia, fear of not sleeping, and the nightly reliance on sleeping tablets. I knew it was too long — every doctor, every article, every conversation reminded me of that. But when you’re exhausted and panicked, logic doesn’t stand a chance against fear.
I tried to stop many times.
Homeopathic remedies, lifestyle changes, new medications — none of them broke the cycle. Each attempt ended the same way: lying awake, heart racing, terrified that I would not sleep at all. Eventually those sleepless nights began to feel like panic attacks.
So I adapted. I coped. I survived.
But “normal” and “healthy” are not the same thing.
Cold Water, Clarity, and the Limits of Willpower
Before my reset, I was already fighting hard for my wellbeing.
I wasn’t passive — I was doing everything I thought would help.
Cold-water swimming became my lifeline.
I began swimming at dawn because even with the sleeping tablets I was only getting about five hours of restless sleep. The icy water shocked my system awake in the best way possible. It grounded me, calmed my anxiety, and reconnected me with my body.
And it changed my body too.
Over a year of consistent cold-water immersions, I slimmed down 20 kilograms. I wasn’t dieting, chasing a number, or obsessing over weight. I was simply showing up to the cold every morning, breathing through the discomfort, and letting the water reset me, little by little.
Those swims gave me:
- mental clarity
- steady energy
- resilience
- emotional stability
- and a sense of personal strength I had forgotten I had
By day, I felt alive again.
By day, I could think clearly.
By day, I was strong, capable, and focused.
But nights… nights were still a different battlefield.
Even with the weight loss, the clarity, the renewed energy — the insomnia refused to budge. As soon as evening came, so did the fear: What if I don’t sleep?
The tablets remained my crutch.
The panic remained my shadow.
And that’s one of the great truths I learned:
You can be doing everything right, and still have one stubborn part of your life that won’t shift… until the right reset arrives.
The Reset I Didn’t Expect
That reset arrived in the most unexpected way: the birth of my granddaughter.
I went to the farm to be there for her arrival — a quiet, gentle place far from the city’s sirens, trains, and constant electric hum. I didn’t plan a big life change. There was no dramatic decision or formal “I am resetting now” moment.
I just… exhaled.
Being there, surrounded by family and new beginnings, my body softened in a way it hadn’t in years. The calmer environment, the slower pace, the grounding stillness all worked their way into my nervous system.
And in that softness, I tried again.
I stopped the tablets.
Two weeks later, something remarkable happened:
I didn’t need them.
And I slept.
Eight hours.
Naturally.
The pessimist in me whispered, “Just wait. The moment you return to the city, everything will fall apart.”
But it didn’t.
Back home — with the noise, the trains, the buzz of electricity — I’m still sleeping.
Eight healthy, solid hours.
And it surprises me every single morning.
Why Resetting Works
A reset isn’t just a rest.
It’s an interruption.
Our habits, fears, and stress responses form loops — loops our bodies run automatically, even when they hurt us. When we step out of the environment that created the loop, we give our nervous system a chance to recalibrate.
A genuine reset can:
- break fear-based cycles
- lower background stress we don’t notice anymore
- interrupt old triggers
- allow new patterns to form
- give the body permission to remember how to function naturally
Sometimes healing doesn’t come from trying harder.
It comes from stepping away.
Post-Menopause: The Quiet Reset We Don’t Talk About
Being on the other side of menopause adds another layer to the story.
Menopause is a long, messy, hormonal storm — and when it finally calms, something unexpected emerges: stability. Our bodies, after years of upheaval, settle into a new balance.
In this stage, many women finally experience:
- steadier sleep cycles
- fewer night-time hormonal disruptions
- improved emotional regulation
- a calmer stress response
- and a deeply grounded sense of self
Post-menopause isn’t the end of anything — it’s a quiet, powerful reboot.
A second chapter.
A chance to rebuild patterns without the hormonal roller coaster pulling the strings.
What My Reset Taught Me
The biggest revelation wasn’t the sleep — though that still feels miraculous.
It was the reminder that I wasn’t stuck after all.
I had assumed my body was incapable.
I assumed change was impossible.
I assumed this was “just how it is now.”
But I was wrong.
A reset showed me that:
- patterns can be rewritten
- habits can be unlearned
- healing often needs a change of environment
- and we are far more resilient than we ever give ourselves credit for
Most of all:
We are not finished becoming ourselves — even after menopause.
The Beauty of Starting Again
We all need a reset. Not because we’re broken, but because we’re human.
Sometimes it’s a holiday.
Sometimes it’s a weekend away.
Sometimes it’s the birth of a grandchild.
Sometimes it’s a quiet morning swim in freezing water.
And sometimes, it’s simply stepping away long enough to let your body remember what peace feels like.
If you’ve been stuck in a cycle — sleep, stress, fear, exhaustion — let this be your reminder:
You are not trapped.
Your body can recalibrate.
Your nervous system can heal.
And sometimes, the life you want is waiting on the other side of a reset.
Article by Angela Watkins